RP Partner
Jake wasn't sure why he chose outside to have this conversation. Maybe because he felt it was important enough that he shouldn't be surrounded by the distractions of having three almost three-year-olds in the house. Not that the triplets themselves were there to be distracting. He'd gone to check on them right before texting Chord, and they were all sleeping soundly. But their stuff was distracting. He was always tempted to pick up toys, or wash sippy cups, or fold teensy little clothes, and then his mind wasn't on the conversation at hand one hundred percent. And this conversation deserved his full attention. Chord deserved his full attention. So outside it was, with mugs of honeyed tea and even a little plate of those two-bite brownies that Jakob had to hide from the kids. Which was silly, because it felt too formal, but not having them felt weird too.

He was a mess. But what were you expecting when one of your best friends told you that your very best friend, your most favourite person in the world, was in love with you? How were you supposed to deal with that without brownies?? Especially when you were in the time that would be pre-heat if you didn't take pills to make it so your body didn't do that every month? They stopped the actual heat, and the neediness, and the pain that came from not being bedded. But that didn't mean he wasn't an emotional, kinda horny mess.

Sighing into his cup, Jakob leaned back in the squeaky wicker rocking chair that was his favourite, eyes fixed on the rectangle of light that came from the crack in the kitchen door, which he'd left open in wordless invitation to Chord. His stomach was a mess of wriggling caterpillars, and he wasn't sure if he wanted him to hurry, or take forever.

Me
Chord stood at his dresser for a long moment, looking at himself in the mirror on it, then rubbed his face. Leave it to his brother to decide to throw out the kind of mindfuck he had tonight, and then flounce off with a "deal with your shit". Sometimes he wanted to shake Coda. Of course, the feeling was obviously mutual.

He needed to not think, clearly. Thinking had gotten him here, where he'd been pining for his best friend in the entire world for... a really long time. Coda called it "forever" in the messages he'd sent, and that was fair. It was pretty much forever. He'd just always assumed that he wasn't what Jake wanted. There were a lot of reasons he assumed that, not the least of which was because he knew that things were easier for Omegas when they had an Alpha in their life. And all he wanted for Jake was that his life was easier.

Finally (it hadn't taken long, but it felt like forever, and no time at all) her headed out to go face the world that Coda had opened up to the two of them. He stopped in the doorway, looking out at Jake in his favorite chair, and smiled softly. "Hey," he said, moving to go sit in one of the other seats, sitting down gingerly because he was always terrified the rattan or whatever the hell these things were made of were going to fall apart if he collapsed down into them like he semi-wanted to.

RP Partner
Watching Chord lower himself into the old patio furniture never failed to make Jake smile. He was adorable how he thought he might break the stuff, even though Arika, who was almost six feet tall and solidly built, had stood on several of the chairs while helping string Christmas lights more than once. And yet, Chord still eased himself down like a butterfly landing on a flower, and it never failed to make something deep inside Jakob warm with amusement and fondness.

Love. It filled him with love. Fucking Coda. He could have gone the rest of his life without this knowledge. Because now he knew that there was something to ruin. He'd never been afraid of ruining his friendship with Chord, because they'd just... been friends for too long. But now there was the seed of something fragile and destroyable, and Jake was terrified he was going to destroy it. Poppy had spent almost a year telling Jakob that he wasn't good enough, that he was lucky to have her, because other Alphas wouldn't want him. Now he was bruised, deep inside, and terrified of upsetting people, or scaring them off and... fucking Coda.

Smiling faintly, because seeing Chord do his dainty settle still warmed him despite his nerves, Jakob set his cup onto the table, wincing at the loudness of the ceramic hitting the glass top. His hands were shaking, and he clasped them tightly in his lap. "Hey. You know..." He took a deep breath, then squished himself over so that he only occupied about half of the big rocking chair, and gave the worn cushion beside him a pat. "It's a big chair. And despite what you think, you're not going to break it. Mama and Daddy sit here together all the time."

Me
Chord smiled a little half-smile, one corner of his mouth tilting up. Being around Jake had always made him happy. It was just that, simply and honestly. It was where love had begun, in his stupid teenage heart, and where it had grown since. Knowing that Jake smiled sometimes, just for him. That he laughed because of things he said. Those things were the food of his soul, and he never wanted to ruin what they had.

He had almost ruined it once. Or done things that might have ruined it. He'd watched Jake start to collapse in on himself with Poppy. He'd watched a spark in him die, and it had wrecked him. He had gotten to the point that he would sit and watch the Alpha, focused on her like he was the sight to a gun, trained on her. Waiting. He'd caught her, once, starting to make a move toward Jake and had stood, ready to get his ass kicked for his trouble, but she had given him one of those looks. Almost knowing, and smug, and god he'd hated her. But the distraction had been enough. She hadn't jumped down Jake's throat, and Chord had considered that a win. Small wins were all they dealt in at the time, and it had been enough, until it wasn't.

He let out a small laugh, then got up and went over to sit next to Jake. "Yeah, yeah, the chairs can handle it," he said, settling in. Looking across the table toward the yard, he sat quietly for a long moment. "I'm sorry," he finally said, leaning gently into Jake's side. "I didn't mean to get tense about what you said about the Alpha energy thing." Yes, he'd decided to focus on that part for the moment. The thing that had been the catalyst to drive Coda nuts enough that he'd told them both what they'd both been saying to him all of this time.

RP Partner
While Chord didn't have a specific pheromone-y scent, he smelled warm and clean and, more often than not, the scents of the kids clung to him because he was always spending time with them. Jake had seen him flop onto the floor and just let the three of them climb on him more than once. Especially when they'd been just learning how to move around on their own, and they were still all wobbly and clumsy. That was another thing that warmed his heart. One of the, apparently, hundred thousand things about Chord that Jakob loved.

The clean smell of Chord's shirt was comforting, and his energy was soothing, and Jakob immediately curled against him. He'd done it a hundred thousand times in the past, because they fit well together. He was a big guy, for an omega, but that still made him fairly slight by 'normal' standards. So he tended to be able to slot himself right in against Chord's side, and fit there just right. It was second nature by now to curve his body against his best friend's while they sat on the couch together, watching the babies play. This time, though, Jakob reached for his hand. Tentatively, he slid his fingers between Chord's, the caterpillars a squirming mass of nervousness.

"It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry I threw you off. I wasn't even thinking about her when I said it, and I kind of... well, I didn't think. About how it must have sounded." He twisted his neck around so he could look up at him, cheek pressed to his shoulder still. "I usually forget about her when I'm with you."

Me
Chord didn't really know how Alphas and Omegas smelled to each other. Obviously. His own senses didn't react to the pheremones the same way, and so he knew that there were subtleties of people's scents he would never get to experience. He'd actually asked friends and family to explain to him what they smelled on other people, and it had been fascinating. Coda was one of the best at explaining in a way he could understand ("sweet cream, like the creamer that Gran always has. That vanilla and almost too sweet smell? Like that, only blended just right so neither is overwhelming" or "the smell of the burning woods put out by a sudden rain. Petrichor and smoke" or "faint lemon, like the soft cookies you can buy at the grocery store, but before you open the package so you only smell the tiniest bit of it when the plastic moves" or "mocha and motor oil", depending on the person). All he really knew was that Jake always smelled like home to him. He felt like home, too.

He let Jake lace their fingers together, and he squeezed lightly. That part was new, but the rest was very normal for them. Cuddled close for warmth or comfort or just because it's how they ended up, with the triplets taking up their laps when they stopped moving long enough to join them for more than a second or two at a time. He never wanted to lose that. Any of it.

Shaking his head, he focused his gaze on their hands. "It's just... hard to explain. A part of me is happy, I guess? That you see that kind of thing in me, I mean. Because I know it's something that you're naturally drawn to. Not..." He paused, sighing softly. "I'm going to say this all wrong. Or you're going to sit and tell me I'm an idiot for it, because I know it's not the way things actually work, but I just..." He took a deep breath.

"I don't want you to miss out on anything. That's why I never said anything. Because I understand that there are things I am incapable of providing. And my siblings are Omegas, I get it. Like, I very well understand why. And I don't want you to not ever have those things in your life. I don't want to be the reason you go unfulfilled." Was it stupid? Yeah, it was. He knew it was, because Coda had literally given him the 'oh my god, you pitiful moron' look when he'd tried explaining it to him, and Lyric had actually just looked horrified, and yet... he still thought it might be true. That he could never be enough, no matter what he did to try to be. He wasn't an Alpha, and he never would be.

RP Partner
The caterpillars stilled for a moment, his insides turning tranquil and the ridiculous fuzzies that came from being close to Chord cleared from his mind. His voice was steady and warm, and his fingers woven into Jakob's grip were strong and just a little chilly, and he anchored Jakob. It made it easier to hear his speech, and take everything in. And it was a lot to take in.

Or... was it? Maybe it was from everything that Coda had told him, about how Chord had loved him forever, and they were both blind and dumb. Maybe now he was actually hearing what wasn't being said, because... well, Chord still hadn't said it. Not those words, the ones that Jakob hadn't said either because they burned his throat and wrapped around his tongue like a loop of thread getting caught around his finger and cutting off the circulation. He hadn't said them, but Jakob was suddenly aware of what was written between the lines. He hadn't said anything before, but he'd wanted to. He felt things, but he didn't want Jakob to be... stuck with him? To settle for him?

He could feel his eyes grow damp, and his nose grow warm and tingly, and he knew he was turning red in the way that he always did when he was crying. He had never been a graceful crier. He couldn't just have the single movie-magic tear slide gracefully down his cheek. His face went blotchy, and scrunched up, and it was impossible to hide it. Which was... annoying at best. Reaching up under his glasses, he scrubbed at one eye futilely with a few fingertips, sniffling softly already. "I'm not... I won't be unfulfilled. Not with you. Yeah, you don't have the whole..." He used their linked hands to gesture vaguely toward Chord's crotch, an action that he normally wouldn't do, but he was caught up in the moment damn it! "The parts. But Chord, I love you. In a really, really big... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you." He was doing this. Apparently. The dam had been broken, and words were spilling out in a potentially destructive, shivering, emotional typhoon. He pushed his face against Chord's shoulder, so he wouldn't have to see his ugly crying face, and spoke into the crook of his neck. "It doesn't matter. I don't care. You are... you can't be my mate, but you're my person." He made a soft sound that could have been a laugh, or a sob, or both, and smooshed his face further into the curve of Chord's neck, wetting his skin with the tears that were just as impossible to stop as the words had been.

Me
He knew that face. He knew Jakob's moods like he knew his own, and he was already turning toward him a little to try to stop him from crying, but it was too late for that. Chord hated making people cry (blame it on being the oldest child), and it was worse when it was Jake. Because he loved him. Because he always had.
Chord was not well known for overtly emotional gestures. But he was emotional now. Of course he was. He had little choice in the matter when it all came down to it. "You're my person, too," he said, and he may not have been sniffling, but there were certainly tears in his eyes. "And I love you. I love you and I love the kids, and I know I'm an idiot, but I'm your idiot. As long as you want me in your life, I'm here. I'm in." He shifted a little more so he could wrap his free arm around Jake and hold him close. It was how it was always supposed to be.

Pressing a kiss to his temple, he dropped his voice low. "Don't cry, baby," he said softly, "not over this. Not over me. Not ever again, okay?" It made his chest ache to think about. That they'd hurt each other without meaning to. Because both of them had been too busy thinking the other didn't see them.

RP Partner If confessing had been a burst in a dam, then the relief at not being rebuffed was like poking a tiny hole in a water balloon. Not one big enough to make it explode all at once, but enough for water to kind of splurt out in a slow, steady trickle. Jakob felt as if he was deflating slowly, sagging against Chord's chest in a way that he never had before. He'd cuddled against him countless times, cried on him when he was exhausted or tired or had nightmares about Poppy terrifying eyes. But this was different. This hug, these tears, it was all different. It meant more. It was the beginning of something new.

Jakob wasn't sure how long they sat there, wrapped around each other like one of those little puzzles made out of metal that you were supposed to be able to untangle, but he'd never managed to figure one out. It could have been five minutes, or ten, or an hour. Time was meaningless, because he was with Chord. Almost everything was meaningless when he was with Chord. He'd just never realised that until now.

Eventually, though, Jakob shivered. Crying like that always made him shake afterward, and it was close enough to winter that it was chilly at night, even in California. Breaking away reluctantly, he brought the cuff of his hoodie up to rub it against his damp cheek and under his nose, and blinked damp eyes up at Chord. "I'm cold," he murmured, his body giving another shiver. And then a third, almost immediately afterward. He was like a chihuahua that was slightly displeased with something, quivering against Chord's chest almost constantly. And he was tired. Tired, and yet full of life.

Okay, so he was still kind of a mess.

Me
Chord had no idea how long they sat, either, but it was long enough that he could tell Jake was getting cold. And then the shivering started. He'd dealt with that often enough, when they'd hung out outside for too long and the nights were cool, or after swimming, or even a lot of emotions hitting at once that left Jake shutting down for a short time.

There were a few things that helped fairly quick. Getting inside was first and foremost. "Okay, up we go," he said, his voice still soft and gentle. "We're going inside, and then we're gathering blankets and making a couch nest." It wasn't a proper nest, of course, but it would do for now. "Do I need to carry you in?" He was thin enough that most people didn't think he was strong, but he'd been doing construction work forever, so he was way stronger than he looked.

He stood up, reaching for Jakob to help him up, too. "I don't want you getting sick, so we are cuddling all night if we have to." Have to. It was a more want to at this point. But he was pretty sure that was obvious enough. Considering. "You can carry the cups and I can carry you, or I can carry the cups in. Either way." He liked offering options.

RP Partner
Jakob's first instinct was to resist, to cling harder to Chord and to refuse to go inside. He wanted to stay out here forever, because it was where they'd opened the book of their lives together to this new chapter. Out here, under the swirling purplish clouds that... oh. Those clouds looked heavy. And ominous. And... rainy. Fine. He still made a soft sound of protest when he was gently pulled to his feet, pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes again. They were probably a little swollen, and felt irritated. Thank god they hadn't had this conversation on the rare occasion when he felt like putting contacts in. They would have fused themselves to his eyeballs, and he would be miserable. He smiled as he lowered his hands again, giving Chord a fond look. He was so sweet when he got all... protective and fussy. And the thought of being carried inside was really tempting. He nibbled on his lower lip, then wordlessly reached for him again, the way the babies reached out when they were tired and wanted to be carried everywhere. It was about time for him to be coddled, even if it was just for the night. He never let himself want it, never let himself even think about it. But now he could. And he was going to, damn it.

Me
Jake was so cute. It was something he could think without feeling terrible about it. In fact, it was something he could say now. "There is no question who birthed the triplets. You look just like them right now." He reached and stroked his cheek lightly. "Cute." He was going to say that a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

He really needed to remember to thank Coda. At some point. Not anytime soon, or he'd never hear the end of it. But sometime.

Scooping Jake up, Chord cuddled him close to his chest, carrying him through the back door and through the house. He was about to turn to the living room to set up the couch, but then realized that... they didn't have to settle for the couch. So, instead, he turned toward his own bedroom, only putting him down when they got to the bed. "Cuddle in, and I'll get more blankets," he said, smiling softly. "Once we've got enough to make things ridiculously warm, I'll lay down, too." Yeah, yeah, he was fussy as hell sometimes. That was perfectly okay with him. "Anything else you want me to grab?"

RP Partner
It wasn't totally unusual for Chord to call him cute at random, but Jakob had never thought much of it. It hadn't happened a hell of a lot, so when it did it would just usually make him blush, or laugh because he never felt cute, and carry on with whatever it was he was doing. Now, though, there was connotations to it. Now Jake knew what Chord meant.

Thankfully, when he was lifted up, Jakob could hide his blush in Chord's shoulder. But his face was warm enough that he expected the flush of his cheeks could be felt, even through his clothing. Stupid traitorous face!

When Chord made a left instead of a right, Jakob lifted his head again, blinking a few times. And of course when he realised that they were going to his room, he blushed yet again. So there he was, still shivering but with a beet red face. He must have looked like some horribly sickly, feverish thing. He busied himself with pleating the top sheet in his fingers idly once he was settled down, smiling kind of dopily at his lap and avoiding eye contact because he might just burst into actual flames. "No... nothing else..."

Me
He could absolutely tell that Jake was blushing, but he figured they might as well face the blush-making things now, instead of later, right? At least this much of it. Making a small "hmm" sound he smiled to himself. "Okay. I'll be right back with blankets and pillows."

Of course, he also made sure the cups were rinsed out and the doors were locked first, then he went to the closet and grabbed up armfuls of the soft stuff they kept around. Carrying them back into his room, he sat them on the end of the bed. "Do you want to make things comfortable, or should I just cover you in as many things as I can toss at you?" That made him laugh, of course, because it wouldn't be the first time he'd just made a pile of things on top of Jake, but now he was just being cute about it.

RP Partner
As soon as Chord left, Jakob made a soft noise that was... maybe a squeak of happiness? It was definitely a noise, and he was definitely happy. Maybe there's no particular word for the exact sound it was. Maybe he'd have to make one up. Later, though. When he wasn't consumed with the sudden thoughts of how he was in Chord's bed, and they were going to cuddle IN HIS BED.

He took the time while his boy...friend...???? was out of the room to start building up the nest that had been mentioned. Jake hadn't had to make one in a long time, not a real one, but instinct soon took over. Before long at all, he was pushing at blankets, tilting his head at them critically, and then mooshing them in another direction. Pillows were layered instead of stacked, and he found himself flopping down in the nesty beginnings, then sitting up again to move something three inches to the left.

Chord caught him in a moment where he was sitting relatively still, and Jakob smiled shyly at him when he came back, reaching immediately for the stuff he'd brought. "Nooo. Don't bury me. I'm already working on it. Sorry, I kind of... took over." He wasn't actually sorry, but he'd been trained to apologise. At least he wasn't doing the eyes on the ground, shoulders around his ears, trembling kind of apologising.

Me
Chord took a half-step back, looking at the already-started nest. He was used to nests. A lot of the ones he'd been invited into were ones made by his siblings, when they wanted family comfort, which was a different beast than the one that was being created on the bed. "Don't be sorry. I like that you're doing it. Just let me know if you need me to do anything. Or tell me when you want me to come lay down. Either way." While he was waiting, he could grab a few things. Jake may take suppressants to keep himself from going into actual heat, but Chord knew he still got broody and cuddly and needing taken care of.

Which just meant it was time for the basket he made up sometimes. A few easy-to-eat snacks and bottles of water, a couple of sleeves of glucose tabs, and some candy. That way they wouldn't have to get up for anything but the kids and the bathroom. Unless they wanted to. Once the basket was put together, he carried it back into the bedroom and tucked it on the small table by the bedside. Then he stopped long enough to press a small kiss to Jake's temple again. "Sweetheart."